Re-cap - where did these posts come from?

The song “Elevate” from the Enter the Spider-Verse Soundtrack is one of those songs that sticks with you. You can use it on a run for some direct motivation, or just feel pumped when you watch the movie and think, “well that was catchy” and move on with your life.

Or, like me, you can over-analyze it to death and take it entirely out of context.

So here we are!

Today’s lyrics -

…I just plan to be
Somethin' powerful for my family
Tried to balance life and my sanity

The end of the year, the end of a decade is a natural point to figure out what you did wrong and what you did right. And on top of all that, we get together with family who have their expectations of what they want for us merged with possible regrets of their own life.

There’s no better time to put a stake in the ground, and project what you want to be for the continuation of your family’s legacy.

In Spider-Man, one of the understated conflicts of the movie is the decision to follow the family member - uncle Aaron - who is living his own life, turning his back on the “right” path, or Jefferson Davis-Morales, Miles’ father who lives his life as a by-the-book cop - on the job and off the job.

As the son of a father who group in a big family that included three brothers (the youngest) is my Dad and two sisters, there was a lot of time for comparison among siblings.

And yet, no matter how many times I learn about how my Dad and his brothers and sisters grew up, I learn something new every holiday season. Usually it comes in the form of - “Did you know Granddad owned a ____ “?

Granddad Avant - who I remember, but only faintly - seemed to have done it all.

College graduate in the ‘30s? Check.
Owned his own home? Check (still standing in Newark)
Owned additional properties. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. At last count, I’d understood this to be five properties, with up to six tenant families at the same time, which he sold to pay for the educations of the siblings pictured above.
Ran his own business? Check.
Oh and by business I mean - taxi company, restaurant, and property management. Check. Check. Check.
Master’s degree? Check (MBA).
Teacher? Check.
Principal? Check.

This was all one man, in a time where doing one of the above bullets was a feat in itself. Even today, doing any of these things takes a lot of passion and possibly a large wallet.

And yet, for all of these accomplishments, the grandparent I am I impressed by as I piece together the fabric of her life is my grandmother. Grandma Doris passed away when I was even younger, so my memories are more impressions than anything concrete. The last impression I have was being carried by her as she walked down the “good” stairs of that house in Newark (or perhaps more probably I remember the photo where this occurred). Note: messy kids were supposed to use the back stairs.

Doris was by Avant’s side for all of the above and has her own list of checks to go through.

College graduate in the ‘30s? Check.
Raised 5 kids when fathers were expected to do very little? Check.
Traveled with her girlfriends across the US as an adult? Check.
Dealt with my Grandpa’s stubborn personality while he jumped from business to business? Check.
Took family road trips in the Jim Crow south, preparing food for 7 to enjoy without having to stop at restaurants that may or not serve her family? Check.

The legend of my Grandfather is no doubt deserved - he accomplished concrete things in an era that was built to stand in his way.

But when I think about heritage, that thought is not complete without wanting to honor my Grandma Doris as well. It’s fitting that our family reunions are based around Doris and her four sisters, born roughly 2 years apart. Our family tree centers around these ladies because they were the starting point for the decades to follow.

Heritage encompasses:

Carrying on the traditions that were meaningful for your family
Enjoying the cultural icons that your family experienced together, and for me, it’s meant
Trying to make a generational improvement based on what has already come before.

My Dad’s generation had their own struggles with growing up in Newark, an area that was recovering from riots, implementing housing discrimination, and experiencing a period of violence. I know my parents made it a point to shield me and my brother from all of that - we spent the majority of our lives in a small Rhode Island town where safety was never a concern and opportunities were plentiful, as long as you were willing to work.

So where does that leave me in terms of honoring and building on family heritage?

More practically, to me it means being a behind-the-scenes Doris:

Continuing to make music a big part of my life - and any good music will involve black icons - Louie, Stevie, Ella, Etta, Nina. It means
Striving to learn continuously, whether by earning another degree (unfortunately I don’t think a PhD is in the cards), it means
Exploring the world, it means
Preserving and building on what little we know about our own family’s roots,
Helping others execute what they are passionate about,
Cooking good food,
Being patient but stern,
Challenging yourself to go as far as whatever societal limitations there are will let you.

I think this is what Grandma Doris would approve of in honoring my heritage.

Some of those questions are still unanswered for me, now it’s just time to be something powerful (and stay sane).