Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason
Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins

When I do a Google search in my photos, I’m happy about two things:

The last photos taken with my Dad Kevin also include my daughter Lucia
Google images thinks my Dad and his father, my Granddad are the same person

That last fact is a little bittersweet - something that I’ve thought about more and more this week as we celebrate the life of my Dad. They both unfortunately passed away in the late-sixties/early-seventies age range and at the end of their lives looked very similar.

So what do we do with this somber fact and technologically troubling similarity?

Well, if there are two words to describe my Dad - they are positive and peacemaker. I’d like to also add punctual, but we all know that wasn’t the case.

I was lucky enough to talk with my Dad a few weeks before his passing, and when we talked, he mentione he wanted his legacy to be that of a peacemaker - someone who reconciles adversaries. Now, that’s not a word I had ever heard my Dad use to describe himslef, but it makes so much sense. Kevin grew up in Newark, NJ, the youngest of five siblings. We are blessed to be joined by three of them - Willette, Olivia and Wilford (Teddy) today in person. Perhaps spoiled, but never ungrateful, my Dad was an unexpected blessing to his parents Doris and Avant. My daughters’ middle name namesake, Avant, raised his family with higher education an assumed stepping stone, and the pursuit of a meaningful career, right behind. Growing up in a city that struggled with its own identity through riots and rebuilding, to turn to the characteristic of being a peacemaker is unexpected. Yet, thinking back on stories shared about my Dad’s early life, he always mentioned the pain he saw in his father when his dad had to collect rent from the properties he owned and managed. These properties were the same ones sold so that those five siblings could go to college. But the pain of traking down people and getting them to deliver on promised rent seems like it took his toll on young Kevin, and he shaped his life so that would never be a part of his daily expectation - he put himself in situations where peace was possible, and he would be the smiling face who helped others figure out how to get there.

Following grade school, Kevin entered an arts-focused high school, where he fostered a life-long passion for music, demonstrated mostly through playing clarinet, as many in this church are aware. In addition, he sang often, mostly from my experience, to get others to love a song or group that was playing in his head.

After high school, he attended Tufts University and shortly thereafter ignited a romance with his high-school one-sided crush Dianne (eventually it was mutual), and began a young family after marriage.

At the age of 25, my Dad was married, a college graduate and a father.

Now, I began this reflection saying that there were two words that described my father - peaceful and positive. Ending with the positive, as we sit here celebrating a remarkable life, the same grandfather who died in is 70s would have mourned two sons who died in their 60s - Avant Jr. and Kevin. In many senses, this would seem a negative. But - I urge you to leave here today seeing the positive, as Kevin would have done.

The people who are here today are proof that building a whole family, wife son, kids, grandkid, uncles, aunts, friends. These are the same people who celebrated an anniversary party last year without pretense, who gather every Sunday to sing and share their thoughts and talents, who execute family reunions and Christmas Bazaars, and gather for a Big Lux show. These are the positives that happen through a world that needs more peacemakers, positive peacemakers like my Dad, Kevin.